Family Estrangement

"I no longer wish to have you in my life. I have learned in my therapy that you were emotionally incestuous with me throughout my childhood and that is why I have had the difficulties I’ve had in my own marriage. I would never treat my children the way that you treated me. Being around you only makes me feel re-traumatized and I can’t have that in my life or around my kids. If I change my mind it will be on my terms and in my own time. Please respect my boundaries.”

I read letters like this every day from adult children to their parents.

….because your parenting is more conscientious and sensitive, you may be right that you are made immune from that most fateful of consequences—the one you have visited on your own parent—the wish and directive for them to never contact you again….

Your love, your dedication, your heartfelt desire to give your children the confidence, happiness, and security won’t protect you from the terrible forces that can turn your child forever away from you…..while you claim in your letters that the trauma stops with you, it doesn’t. Because the trauma you’re visiting on your parents by cutting them off from you and their grandchildren is more painful than anything they could imagine..”

Oprah show on the topic (Dr Coleman is one of the guests):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK7EJgILMIk

‘Grandparents Academy’ of Aaron Larsen has many types of supportive connections; much are free, including a non-FaceBook communication place:

https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/alienated-estranged-grandparent-resources